decisions, decisions...

we have a first grade opening at my school, but at the moment haven't found anyone to take it. (at the moment as in when i left school an hour early today... things could have changed by now). i'm tempted to take it and switch back to the classroom. i walk past the empty room and feel it calling me, whispering about the classroom community we could have inside it. i think about my favorite parts of being a classroom teacher, dream of putting my classroom library back together, and begin to plan lessons on the smart board. on my drive home from my parents house tonight i started thinking about how i would start my first week with a new class, the read alouds i would do, how i'd introduce our rules, how i'd run math workshop.
but i love special education. i love working with the kiddos on my case load. i even like the iep process because we are looking at one specific child's needs. i love sitting down at a child centered meeting and discussing where we envision that child being a year from the meeting's date. i love researching strategies to use with these children, analyzing what works and what doesn't, testing hypothesis, and trying again.
could i give up guided reading with my bff (who hugged me again mid-danny book to thank me for reading with him)? could i walk away from my kindergarten kiddos who (despite what it may look like) are really making crazy progress? i love co-teaching. i love the 3 different classes i'm in. i love that i don't have to walk a class full of hyper kiddos down the hallway two times a day.
i miss doing read alouds whenever i want, but is that worth coming into a classroom mid-year? with a mix of kids who already started in another classroom?
me taking the position would help out my team. i know the curriculum by heart, i could even take the special education students because legally i would be meeting their hours as a classroom teacher.

then again, i just returned from the dentist where we discussed how incredible it is that my teeth grinding at night stopped when i left the classroom. hmmmmm....