i'm watching espn and they just interviewed a woman whose job description is "fantasy injury expert". I'm not exactly sure what that means, but it sounds like something i too can add to my resume.
"mrs lipstick, i'm bleeding" child holds up a perfectly fine finger.
"Wow. And you're so brave! Good job. Go play!"
"mrs lipstick, my tummy hurts!"
"Oh no! Go get a drink of water."
"my foot hurts!"
"good think you don't need your foot for writing!" (on evil days).
"i have a headache!"
"i know. me too."
I don't know what qualifies you to be a fantasy injury expert, but I totally think my co-workers and I are experienced with fantasy injuries.