i could die.
today we were modeling how to look at a book and tell the stories in the pictures even if you don't know how to read.
i was modeling the wrong way.
(i know in responsive classroom you're not really suppose to model anything the wrong way. but i did. and i shouldn't have)
as i'm holding a book and pretending not to read it i called out for the teacher, tried to get a classmate to help me read the book, and then- when nothing else worked, i said, "STUPID, SILLY BOOK I CAN'T EVEN READ".
i said the s- word in a first grade classroom.
there were gasps.
on the "what did you notice" discussion everyone said, in hushed whispers,
"mrs. lipstick said a bad word".
and i did. i should have gone straight to the thinking spot.
i know these little ones hear words far, far worse than that at home, on the bus, and on tv. in fact, many were in my kindergarten class were one friend was pinching people if they didn't say "f me". (he is no longer at our school).
but it doesn't matter. i said the s word. i haven't said that in front of first graders since my first year teaching unless i'm reading junie b. jones and the stupid, stinky school bus, and even then the first graders gasp.
i'm washing my mouth out with soap as we speak.