Thursday, August 27, 2009

itchy itchy

as i walked one of my kindergartners down the hallway she happily skipped along telling me a charming story in a singsong voice.

"i have eggs in my head! eggs in my head! and they are going to break and when they break- here come the bugs! and when the bugs come they will jump on your head! and your head! and your head!" she sang, pointing at everyone in our group.

ew.

"lovely. maybe you can write about that in writing workshop" i suggested, trying to keep my hands from creeping up to scratch my own head that had instantly started to itch.

ew.

we spent the day looking at the tops of their heads during read alouds and sending them to the clinic "just to check". the very lovely clinic aid tried not to give me a look of death every time i brought in another group of little girls with eggs. to be fair we only brought up one little one who did not turn out to have lice- but still- we looked a little pathetic with our constant parade of paranoia. it was the poor woman's first day. i hope she comes back tomorrow. or that i can get to know her outside of pointing to a child's head and saying, "i swear, i saw a nit. it was right there. there! see! no! that's not dandruff- i promise" as she placates me by looking again, just to be sure. "nope. just dandruff".

did you know that lice have grown immune to the medical shampoo?
they've evolved.
they are winning the war.

frankly, i just want to win the battle. the one being fought in our kindergarten room.

mr. lipstick and i were driving home from our last softball game of the season. it was a lovely evening- we'd won our game as the sun set behind the washington monument. we were in such good spirits that i thought he'd find the adventures of my day amusing, so i told him this story- and waited for the snicker about the first lice victim's song.

there was silence.

and then

"i'm pulling into the harris teeter parking lot and will wait in the car while you go buy lice shampoo. "

i laughed.

he didn't.

he pulled into the harris teeter, parked the car and i forced myself to make the long walk into the store. i put aside my pride and even asked where the lice shampoo was kept. i explained that i didn't actually have lice, and that i was just exposed to lice, but the pharmacist looked skeptical as she backed away from me, waving a finger in the general direction of the shampoo.

i now own lice shampoo. this in itself makes me itchy. as though i can catch lice just from holding the box. i had others check my head many times and so far i'm all clear- but i'm ready. i just hope if i get lice i get the weak non-evolved type that will still die when under attack from nix.

perhaps tomorrow should be 'wear your hair net to school' day in our kindergarten class.

1 comment:

drewandkatie said...

Oh, the joy of picturing Mr. Lipstick's face when he didn't laugh and drove to HT is priceless. Drew & I are cracking up! For ya'lls sake I hope you do not need to use your shampoo.
-K

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