Thursday, February 28, 2008

who are they? and why do i let them in?

i woke up on the wrong side of the bed after my dinner conversations last night. everything going through my head was petty and mean. i couldn't help from having that helpless feeling that people who have no idea what they are doing in education are making the education policies for the rest of us. "who are they in their fancy suits to tell me what good teaching is?" i angrily thought in the shower. "who are they" I thought as I searched for my keys, "to tell me that teachers only improve instruction when they are being held accountable to standards."
"Who are they to even know what drives good instruction?" I thought as I started up my car.

"Who are they to say the people of my profession are lazy? Have they walked through the halls? Do they know?"

I got to school in an obviously angry mood. I was disgruntled with the world, feeling defeated and disrespected by everyone, and wishing I'd thought of incredibly clever remarks to prove them all wrong. Instead I am sure I cemented their opinion that crazy-teachers don't listen to reason because they are too lazy to change their ways.

At school I dove into a meeting with another teacher about how to help a family with an autistic child. Then I rushed to help at an IEP meeting, and then to meet for a quick reading conference with some first grade students reading a chapter book for the first time. Then it was off to a training, followed by my ever-crazy lunch bunch, some emails with parents, at jumpers practice, more meetings with co-workers, and then now... when for the first time during the day have time to remember last night and my anger. The thing is I'm still angry, but the crazy day was a reminder that in many ways whatever decisions they make in Washington will not change my devotion to my job unless I let it. They will not take away the initial shock when a parent first learns her child is autistic or the support I can give. They will not make me teach reading less passionately, or change my relationship with my lunch bunch. I love my job. I'm sorry some people don't respect it, and I'm sorrier still that people feel they have the power to change something they do not understand and don't respect. But I can't let myself leave for work angry at the world. My job is way too important for that.

1 comment:

Snippety Gibbet said...

You are a better woman than I, to go to these things. I would absolutely lose my mind!

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