1) i hope you really enjoyed playing that game
(you know, the one intended for five year olds. it was fabulous- really challenging for me in my late 20s)
2)we'll give you the gift of silence while you read this
(if you want us to read something, give it to us before the meeting. if you do give us something to read and want us to be quiet- just expect that we will be quiet. don't tell us to be quiet by "giving us the gift of silence". or just say "please be quiet".)
3) show me you used your listening ears by telling me what your partner said
i. am. not. five.
4) please throw this bean bag around the circle so we can get to know each other.
5) turn to your talking partner and tell them your favorite kind of salsa.
i. am. a. professional. with professional things to do at work that do not involve salsa.
6) we'll be coming around to take pictures of you in your classrooms playing these games. if they are really good we'll put them up on the blackboard site for all your friends to see!
ie: we will be checking up on you. and we think that using a camera will motivate you, like it motivates first graders.
7) stand up. hand up. pair up.
yes, this is a fabulous strategy in the classroom. i LOVE it. but now that we've seen it modeled at every workshop, please don't model it anymore. i don't need to high five anyone else today.
8) did anyone have a connection with this?
grown up language, anyone? how about: what does this mean to you? or even better- in your professional opinion how did you interpret this text?
9) we're going to jigsaw this article.
really? you think we're too stupid to actually read an entire article? or too lazy to read it ahead of time? because, i personally like reading entire articles and i bet my co-workers do too.
10) praise your neighbor and then thank them.
i know my manners, and i know how to teach my children their manners. you do not need to teach me this- please teach me how to be a better math/reading/writing teacher. that's why i'm here.
*long, long sigh*
send your own pet-peeves from common professional development comments my way. i'm thinking of putting together a bingo board so we can have something to do during the condescending lectures.
**i have good friends that lead these discussions, and there are people i really respect who lead these discussions, and i hope they are not going to take this personally. i know that this is what is considered a "good professional development meeting" and i know the presenters are expected to do these kinds of things. i'm not frustrated with the presenters- more with the people who believe this is the best way to teach teachers and then tell the presenters they must run it like this. the presenters have so much knowledge about one subject- share your knowledge with us without trying to "trick" us into learning it. trust me, we want to be better math teachers. we'll eat up what you're giving us.**