loving them

today was one of those days where you want to put each child in the classroom in your pocket and slip them out the door with you, where you can promise to feed them, put them to bed on time, wake them up on time, feed them again, and give them the love that children require to develop into emotionally healthy adults.

so many of the children i work with, in special education or not, come to school with so much going on in their lives. and it's not that their parents don't try or don't work hard, it's that in their corner of the world life is hard. God bless these children. the backgrounds i have learned about my new friends this year haunt me. i took the children home this weekend in the way teachers do, every moment thinking about them, wondering how they were doing with two days off, and how we can help them at school. can we even begin to teach them reading and writing if they are so hidden inside themselves, hidden beneath anger, confusion, and mistrust. how can we rebuild what other adults have torn down? how can we show them they can trust us, even if other adults in their lives have let them down? how do we tell them it's ok to sit back and relax in school, when at home life is chaotic and they wonder when dad will work again, or whether or not their parent will be home that night. how can we get them to take down their walls in school when they are putting their walls up for protection?