At the end of the day I was standing in the first grade hallway with my co-workers going over the ins and outs of the day. One of my co-workers laughed and said, "My poor husband. I go home and don't want to talk. I don't want to be playful and joke. I want to watch tv and be alone."
I felt an instant wave of relief. I'm not the only evil, terrible wife who is a completely moody, unresponsive and quiet person lately. Suddenly everyone began talking about how we all were having similar experiences. We manage to hold it together during the school day, keeping ourselves in check, not showing emotion, stating ridiculous statements with a complete sense of calm. "We use our feet for walking, not for kicking." "Scissors are for cutting paper, not for cutting hair. Show me how to use the scissors like a first grader. No? OK, today you may not use the scissors. You may try again tomorrow. I'm sorry you hate me for taking away the scissors. I love you very much."
By the time we get home we can't possible hold it in any longer. Some wives mentioned yelling for no reason, taking their frustration out on their husbands. Others mentioned locking themselves in a room for "me time". It wont last forever, just in the beginning of the school year. Soon the kids will know how to push in chairs, line up, hold scissors, and how to raise their hands (even if they forget sometimes). Soon the parents will stop reminding you how to blow their child's nose (we hope) . Soon we'll go home with as much energy as we use during the day.
My husband has been wonderful. On Tuesday I sent a text message that read "Pls cook me dinner. Am tired." Wed. we had friends over for dinner and he cooked and hosted while I lay tranquilized on the couch, hoping my friends wouldn't notice I've forgotten how to have adult conversations. Still, I feel guilty. Someone can only be fantastic for so long without wanting his real wife back. I don't know how people do this job when they have children. You are my heroes.
I've always wanted to post an automatic email reply during the month of August just to warn people that it's my one month of being socially unavailable.
"I am currently beginning the school year and am away from my life right now. I am unable to attend to social obligations unless you are six. I will be back at the end of August and look forward to seeing you then."