One of my kiddos ran out of the classroom today and refused to come back. He was crawling around on the floor of the hallway, following an ant. I tried my best to remove the ant and put it outside, not wanting to hurt the little guy in front of my first grader. This didn't really work and only amused my kiddo.
So then I threatened homicide.
"If you don't go back inside and sit on the rug I'll have to step on the ant because he is distracting you"
It was out before I realized what I was saying. Translated, I basically said, 'Kid, the fate of the ant is in your hands. Much like your being controlled by the mob, you can choose to obey, or the ant dies.'
Luckily he went inside and I didn't have to follow through on my words and crush the poor ant.
It was Friday, we were all tired. Next time I'll try not to threaten homicide.