Thursday, January 7, 2010

life's moral questions

Picture this-

You are six years old. You and your friend have been sent on an errand to deliver a note to another teacher. You don't know this other teacher, but are faithfully delivering the note and then planning on going straight back to class.

But when you arrive at your destination the room is dark- nobody is there.

Nobody except a slice of pizza.

What do you do?

Now picture this-
You are a teacher. You woke up this morning to a water main break in your neighborhood so you are sans shower. Gross. You're hungry, because you're trying to eat healthy but that small Soup in Hand just didn't fill you up. The kids are crazy, but you're relieved because it's time to take them to specials so you'll have a bit of a break (just enough time to go to the bathroom and take a few deep breathes). Just as your lining your class up your wonderful friend walks in holding a slice of pizza. For you. A beautiful piece of pizza, all yours. It calls your name, begging you to indulge as you walk your class down the hall. But no- you'll wait- it would be wrong to eat it in front of them. So you put it down on a table by the door and lead the class to the gym, all the while thinking about how wonderful it will be to have a few moments of peace and quiet to enjoy that beautiful piece of pizza.

And then- you return to your room to find:

There is a bite out of your pizza.



So you email the friend who gave you the pizza, because obviously, it has to be a joke, right?

Now imagine you are the six year old again-
The teacher you'd been sent to visit and the intersession coordinator (acting principal during intersession) come to find you and your friend, knowing that you were the only people in the classroom that could have possibly eaten the pizza. They ask your teacher if they can see you in the hallway.

You could possibly get out of this- think fast.

Nope- Your friend immediately throws you under the bus- "I didn't do it!"

You send her that look that says "shut up!" but it's too late.

"Didn't do what?" they ask

"Eat the pizza! She did" friend points to you.

Moment of truth. Your caught. The teachers are holding the pizza in question. They can get DNA evidence to determine whose mouth took the bite. The witness fingered you in front of the judges- all eyes stare you down accusingly.

Do you confess? Go ahead and take your punishment?

Or- instead, do you immediately blurt out, "It was an ACCIDENT!"

Teacher again:
How do you possibly keep a straight face when you hear that?

I couldn't. I died of laughter. Which was unfortunate because the little girl momentarily thought it was all going to be ok- if we were laughing she couldn't really get in trouble, right?


She spent some time in the office, but wrote a heart-felt apology note.
It says:
Dear Ms. L
I an soey I eat see ai in the cine room. I see piea no dia to you on a cine tals. wto in the cine welh see mrs. l.

Attached to it was the pizza. Just in case I wanted to finish it off.

I do seem to have problems with food in the classroom. At least this time nobody was trying to poison me.


John Wills Lloyd, Ph.D. said...

What a hoot!

I remember a girl telling me, after she'd clearly put her leg out and tripped a bumbling classmate who was walking past her desk, "I done it on accident." This seems much more innocent....

Still, consequences must follow such actions.

Did you later cut around the bitten part and eat the remainder?

Snippety Gibbet said...

Hehehehehe. That's a new one on me.