Friday, June 12, 2009

so many books, so little time

Don't get me wrong- I love your service. I love that you send us updates when we exceed our budget and you nicely manage all of our finances. It's great- really.

But perhaps today you could not send out the 'You exceeded your shopping budget this month' email to both me and my husband. I know what happened. Let's just keep it between us, yes?

I've been so good for so long. I've kept my book habit under control. It's been hard- don't get me wrong. To walk into a book store and run my fingers along the titles- the new releases- the paperback favorites. But in the mass bookstores I manage some control. (Even if Mr. Lipstick doesn't believe it)

Last night I ventured back to the place of my old bad habits. The independent bookstore I've spent many paychecks. Just opening the door gave me a little thrill. Being back. I became intoxicated with my old ways. I lost control. Fell off the wagon. My young carefree days of being young in the city came back to me in a wave. How was I suppose to control that? I use to be able to walk there from my city apartment- pop over to hear whatever author was speaking at 7pm, for coffee, for book browsing. And in those days I wasn't married. One can hide a habit like this when one is just dating. Before combined bank accounts. And a mortgage. And trip planning. And car payments and bathroom remodeling. Before a budget. I love my life now- wouldn't change it for anything- but last night just brought back too much.

I know, I am suppose to grow up. I am suppose to realize that I cannot have every book I see. I know what a library is. But you see, the library near me is horrid (lots of computers and dvds- no books) so how am I suppose to contain myself, really?

and the books I bought- I needed those books. One on play from an author I heard speak earlier this year. Another on attachment disorder. You know how curious I am about attachment disorder- and how I'm always looking for resources. And another just tales of teaching. I need the inspiration. These aren't books I can buy at your average bookstore. These are books one can only find hidden on those shelves of that store. And summer is coming- I need books for summer, right?

So, I promise not to do it again. Really. It was a one time thing. I will be stronger. Wiser. Pay my library fines. Let's just forgive this little incident, yes?

Or perhaps you can suggest a readers anonymous I can join, just in case?

1 comment:

Snippety Gibbet said...

You know, the one thing I do not adore about the Kindle app on the iPod Touch is that you can't pass your ebooks around and you can't buy them used. I get a little carefree in spending money at a library book sale or a used book store. I love the thought that a book will thrive in the hands of many people. Interesting. I may have to share that with my progeny.