Wednesday, June 10, 2009

5 more days

i sat down to write a coherent blog post and halfway through realized it made no sense and was going in about 5 different directions. i am brain dead and exhausted. for at least 2 of my kids we've decided it's the end of the year- there is no use forcing them to spend time in their classrooms when it will most likely end badly. i spent a lot of time walking up and down the hallways today with my little friends. a lot of time spent doing odd projects with my little friends to keep them busy and out of their teacher's hair. we only have to make it 5 more days. if they're given the choice to watch a movie or to help me sort books and they choose sorting books- well, i think they understand the fact that if they're in their room they'll only get in trouble.

i'm usually very sad at the end of the year. i'm not always good with change and i usually get nostalgic. and i will miss these kids. i've worked with many awesome kiddos this year and i've been so lucky. but i'm tired.

it may be because i spent our 5 week break last summer taking 3 grad school classes so i never really relaxed. i went into the grad school stressed from the school year, and into the school year stressed from grad school. so maybe my body is just ready for a real rest this summer.

our school's population is popping at the seams and as the economy crashes we've been dealing with families losing their jobs- children who bring to school the concerns of the family's finances. kids have been going back to "their countries" left and right. which is hard to watch, because you know they came to america for hope. they brought in their pictures of their houses back home- and you know they're not going back to the same standard of living we think everyone deserves in america. we've watched their parents cry as they take them out of school for the last time.

so it's been a long year. this may be the first year i am feeling completely ready for it to end. not because i feel i've succeeded with my kids- i still feel like i have miles and miles of work to do with them- but perhaps because i realize i don't have the energy to do it right now.

5 more days.

it's 7 o'clock and i think i'm off to bed.


Anonymous said...

OC, try chilling and enjoying your life a little bit. It's ok to be human.

The Girl said...

I felt the same way at the end of this school year. Was just ready for it to be over. And here I find myself teaching summer school. I guess I didn't want our kids to lose the structure they had come to rely on. I felt that I hadn't taught my boys enough either by our last day together, but I couldn't teach middle school level summer school, so I took the chance to work with the little ones in 1st grade going into second. Already I'm seeing improvement from where they started last Monday. I think it's that love of helping kids learn that keeps us going, exhausts us, makes us teach intersession and summer school, and take classes and professional development opportunities when we should probably relax :) When the five days are done, go home, take a long, hot bath, and take a nap :) You deserve it for all that you've helped the kids learn!