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When re-reading my previous post I realized it might not have made much sense. This is because:
1) It was Friday
2) It was the Friday of the 2nd week of school
3) It was too hot to go out to recess all week
4) The kindergartners seemed to have collectively gone crazy.

I apologize for my lack of detail and detached sentence structure. It's kind of like going back and looking at primary documents. Posting at the end of the day reflects the true state of mind.

protesters

After 2 weeks of school the kindergartners at my school seem to have gotten together and collectively decided to boycott school. They seem to see through the whole 'sitting quietly, playing nicely, sharing, waiting in line' thing. Home is much more fun, less rules, more toys, no lines. One looked at me and said, "Oh my. Long day today." It was 9am.

You can't blame them, but it does make for a rather hectic Friday.

"Mrs. Lipstick, when did you get pretty?"

"Mrs. Lipstick, when did you get pretty?" a kindergartner exclaimed tonight when she saw me at back-to-school night. I'd seen her a mere 3 hours earlier.

Who knew my back-to-school night change of clothes had could alter my appearance so much?

Back To School Night '07

Whew! I've been joking all week about how wonderful back to school night will be now that I don't have my own classroom and don't have to present to parents. God must have started laughing at me Monday and decided to have me regret that joke. There were moments tonight I wished I was presenting. Instead I was running up and down the first grade hallway trying to convince the many, many kids in the hallway that they shouldn't be yelling because their mommies and daddies were inside their classroom trying to listen to their teacher. I've been the teacher trying to present so I know that those kids in the hallway are so loud your parents can barely hear you. They nod and smile like they understand because they don't want to go into the hallway and get their screaming child.

All the specialist and non-classroom teachers are stationed around the school trying to babysit the kiddos who weren't suppose to come to school that night. One of my co-workers ended up carrying around a two year old who didn't seem to belong to any adult. He held her until her diaper leaked onto his arm, at which point he started trying to find other adults to take her so he could go clean his arm.

I was even excited to dress up for the first time all year and so I was wearing nice tall heels that I can't wear during the day. Silly me didn't think that I'd be spending the night running up and down in my steve maddens, stopping kids from wondering into classrooms, throwing crayons, and playing mercy.

One of the best things about year-round schooling is that we get Back to School Night out of the way in August. Those of you in regular schooling, have fun :) I'm finished until '08.

homicide

One of my kiddos ran out of the classroom today and refused to come back. He was crawling around on the floor of the hallway, following an ant. I tried my best to remove the ant and put it outside, not wanting to hurt the little guy in front of my first grader. This didn't really work and only amused my kiddo.
So then I threatened homicide.

"If you don't go back inside and sit on the rug I'll have to step on the ant because he is distracting you"

It was out before I realized what I was saying. Translated, I basically said, 'Kid, the fate of the ant is in your hands. Much like your being controlled by the mob, you can choose to obey, or the ant dies.'

Luckily he went inside and I didn't have to follow through on my words and crush the poor ant.

It was Friday, we were all tired. Next time I'll try not to threaten homicide.

change

My first week in my new job is over. And I'm ecstatically happy. It's not that the job is easier than my old position by any means, but there is something about this new challenge that I'm loving. Everyday this week I've woken up excited to go to work, and at the end of the day I find myself looking forward to the next day. I've spent the week making loads of mistakes, but I've had enough successes to make me excited to try and fix my mistakes the next day. I've clearly got a lot to learn and I'm oddly excited about it.

Last year I wondered whether or not I would should even go back into the world of education. I was burning out and not even enjoying the kids anymore. I don't think I realized exactly how much until today when I listened to a kindergartner's joy in listening to a story. This week I've felt that love for the children that I'd lost last year.

I want to remember this positive change and hope that I never get stuck in a rut. I would have been a terrible classroom teacher if I'd gone back into the classroom this year. I just didn't have it in me. Things would have been fine, but not good. I wouldn't have been satisfied with good, but wouldn't have had the energy to make it good.

I hope I'll always be willing to take the risk of a new job.

out-of-life message

At the end of the day I was standing in the first grade hallway with my co-workers going over the ins and outs of the day. One of my co-workers laughed and said, "My poor husband. I go home and don't want to talk. I don't want to be playful and joke. I want to watch tv and be alone."
I felt an instant wave of relief. I'm not the only evil, terrible wife who is a completely moody, unresponsive and quiet person lately. Suddenly everyone began talking about how we all were having similar experiences. We manage to hold it together during the school day, keeping ourselves in check, not showing emotion, stating ridiculous statements with a complete sense of calm. "We use our feet for walking, not for kicking." "Scissors are for cutting paper, not for cutting hair. Show me how to use the scissors like a first grader. No? OK, today you may not use the scissors. You may try again tomorrow. I'm sorry you hate me for taking away the scissors. I love you very much."
By the time we get home we can't possible hold it in any longer. Some wives mentioned yelling for no reason, taking their frustration out on their husbands. Others mentioned locking themselves in a room for "me time". It wont last forever, just in the beginning of the school year. Soon the kids will know how to push in chairs, line up, hold scissors, and how to raise their hands (even if they forget sometimes). Soon the parents will stop reminding you how to blow their child's nose (we hope) . Soon we'll go home with as much energy as we use during the day.
My husband has been wonderful. On Tuesday I sent a text message that read "Pls cook me dinner. Am tired." Wed. we had friends over for dinner and he cooked and hosted while I lay tranquilized on the couch, hoping my friends wouldn't notice I've forgotten how to have adult conversations. Still, I feel guilty. Someone can only be fantastic for so long without wanting his real wife back. I don't know how people do this job when they have children. You are my heroes.

I've always wanted to post an automatic email reply during the month of August just to warn people that it's my one month of being socially unavailable.
"I am currently beginning the school year and am away from my life right now. I am unable to attend to social obligations unless you are six. I will be back at the end of August and look forward to seeing you then."