my bff has been wanting a baby in his house for a long time. a few months ago he told me his mom was having a baby and we believed him until i checked with mom and found out that this was not the case.
"oh no!" she said, "he wants one so badly but we can't afford it right now. maybe next year." from the look on her face i could tell she felt the same way my bff did.
i hadn't heard the baby-stuff for awhile but today it came back. we were taking a walk to calm down on this december friday and so i let him hold a small bear from my desk. he immediately began cradling it like a baby and talking to it.
"i love you baby bear!" he said. when we stopped to talk to someone in the hallway he turned the bottom of my shirt into the baby's cradle and had me keep the baby there while he cooed over it. i finally got him to hold the baby himself, since he was starting to tell me that the baby was hungry for milk. he waited until we were in the clinic and then the baby went up his shirt.
and poof. he gave birth, right there in the clinic.
we walked back to class as he snuggled his baby, kissed its nose, and sung christmas carols to it. every female teacher we saw in the hallway (and even those alone in their classrooms) were given the baby to hold in their shirts.
this was cute and endearing. then...
we'd gone upstairs to do writing workshop and were passing a class of second graders. he stuffed the bear up his shirt and then stood spread-eagle style and started moaning. "oh, oh, oh, oh, oh" shaking, as the bear fell out.
"my baby!" he cried with pure, excited joy (the kid will one day win an oscar).
i distracted him as quickly as i could, but it just wasn't fast enough.