Crack Babies and Long Term Outcomes

A few days ago Joanne Jacobs posted about a recently published study that followed 110 children to adulthood. Some of these children were considered "crack babies" when they were born and some were not. The findings of the study showed that whether or not a child is born as a "crack baby" does not impact the child's life outcomes. Whether a child is raised by a nurturing caregiver, however, does. 

Eight years ago my Emotional Disabilities professor was adamant about this and had us read the previously published research which also found that the theory of crack babies wasn't accurate. It was the parents, not the crack, that had the biggest impact on long term outcomes. At the time this was somewhat of a surprise to me. I was working with two girls who we suspected both had parents who had been on drugs during pregnancy. With the concept that crack babies are crack babies for life we found ourselves thinking, well, what do you expect from these girls?

My professor's clear stance on this and the research he showed us changed my thinking. If it doesn't matter what sort of difficulties the babies had at birth- if there were still opportunities for them to persevere- then what could we do in school to support that? As teachers we obviously never can replace parents. We will never be able to change a child's background. But we can do things in school- be supportive, caring teachers, give opportunities to educate families, let kids know we believe in them- that will better the situation. Above all the best thing we can do for our students is to not write them off because we assume that what they were born with already set their future. 

When I've shared the "being a crack baby doesn't matter" research with others I often find they have trouble believing me. For so long our mental model of crack babies was set in a hopeless state so it seems to be difficult for people to grapple with the change of thought. Yet as we learn more about the brain, how it works and its capabilities for remapping itself I feel we really will come to a place where as a society we can understand that we can't write off anyone based off their birth history.

http://www.joannejacobs.com/2013/12/crack-babies-do-as-well-as-other-poor-kids

I want this doll

I desperately want The Pleasant Company to listen to this petition and to make an American 

Girl Doll that has a disability. 

As a former American Girl obsessee (back when there were only three dolls- Kirsten, Samantha and Molly) I have strong memories of the lessons I learned from reading the books and acting out their adventures. As new dolls were added I devoured those stories as well (a highlight of my childhood was meeting Valerie Tripp, one of the series' authors). Yes, the books were formulaic but that certainly didn't bother my second grade self. The history I learned through these books changed much of my small town perspective on the world. 

I can imagine the 8, 9, and 10 year old me sitting on the floor of my bedroom reading the books about the new doll with a disability and just how that would change my perspective and open my eyes to people who struggle with disabilities. Much like books like "Rules" and "Wonder" this doll and books would create an empathetic connection that would open a conversation about disabilities for our young girls.

From The Pleasant Company's perspective I could see a bit of political resistance. How do you select a disability that will represent all disabilities? And how do you represent that disability in its most natural and kindest light without offending someone? I've heard people with disabilities complain about other people using person-first language (saying a child with autism instead of autistic child) so even when you are politically correct you can't please everyone. 

The category of people with disabilities is a large, ever growing category that encompasses many different types of disabilities. The Pleasant Company will have to put a lot of thoughtful research into determining how to best create the doll. I will be very interested in their process in determining what to create. Will they look at producing a doll that will please most people or will they come at it from what they want their take-away message to be and then determine how they can create a doll that will deliver that message? 

Dear Pleasant Company- if you are looking for help with this let me know!

Frankly, it doesn't matter too much what they decide- if they make it I'll buy the doll regardless. 

Here's the petition:

http://www.change.org/petitions/american-girl-release-an-american-girl-with-a-disability?share_id=yHoloOeAvR&utm_campaign=signature_receipt&utm_medium=email&utm_source=share_petition

Coming Back From Break: Getting Our Kids Ready

As my darling, sweet, wonderful daughter dabbles in the terrible-twos Mr. Lipstick and I have been reading all sorts of random parenting articles to get any advice on what we could do better to prevent the amazing meltdowns* we are experiencing.

He came across this article from the Washington Post, which felt fairly basic except for point number six: Acknolwege that it may be hard to go back to school/daycare after a long break instead of just ignoring it.
The article states:

“As a goodbye on the first day back to school or work, be sure to smile and tell your child that even though you won’t be together (or you’ll miss each other) today, you’ll still be thinking about him and you know he’ll be thinking about you,” says Beth Griffith, a D.C. -based child and adult psychotherapist.

After a long break from school, one that included lots of overstimulation, fun and major changes in routines, children who tend to be anxious may have a tough time transitioning back and separating from their parents."

This resonated with me as a parent, but also as a teacher. As a parent I do need to make sure Little Miss Lipstick is ready to go back to daycare. She's had two weeks of one on one mommy time, lots of downtime, lots of not having to share her toys (and new toys at that!) and lots of not having to wait long to get an adult's attention. (Although I suspect some of the current drama in our house is because she's ready to be back on her usual routine). I need to start talking to her about going back to her daycare before it's the night before and I suddenly announce "Guess What!" as though it's the most exciting adventure in the world.

As a teacher I've seen it from the other end. Kids coming back from a break isn't easy. They have just had a few weeks of constant downtime, not having to wait in line, not having to raise their hand, fun adventures, computer games, getting their needs met quickly, and getting to set their own agendas. The sudden transition back to reality isn't easy. I've also thought of this as a teacher's burden- a job hazard like dealing with lice or being thrown up on. The idea of parents helping on their end never occurred to me, but I can see how helpful it would be to have parents start the prepping process so it's not quite as though these children were just thrown into the deep end of the pool.

The article goes on with some tips on how you can make the transition better. It's worth reading!
~~  ~~  ~~

*Little Lipstick: I NEED APPLESAUCE. I NEEEEED IT.
Mommy: I just gave you applesauce for breakfast because you asked nicely for it one millisecond ago. It's on the table.
Little Lipstick: NOOOOOOO, NOOOOOO APPLESAUCE. NOOOOOO. *falls into crying heap on kitchen floor.*
Mommy: *smacks head into wall*

A Teacher's New Years Resolution

I've spent a relaxing week and a half celebrating Christmas, chasing my two year old, and eating far too many Christmas treats (no matter how many I eat I can't seem to get them to disappear). With half a week left of break I've found myself already stressing over going back to work- the paperwork to fill out, the deadlines to meet, the reports to write, the lessons to plan, emails to send...  just typing this sends me into a horrible frenzy of stress and despair. Yet I slowly came to realize that none of that list above- my awful and never ending to-do list- has anything to do with the kids.

When I think about going back to the kids I'm excited. I want to know how their breaks were. I'm looking forward to teaching them, listening to their third grade reasoning, leading discussions in reading group, and hosting lunch bunches. I miss the kids over break- I miss their random jokes, their smiles and watching them grasp an academic concept that was difficult for them. The most important part of my job- the reason I do this job- I miss that.

SO, my new years resolution is to focus on the kids. Not to let the stacks of paperwork and deadlines get me down. Those reports I have to write, yes, they will be horrible to do and I will spend way too many nights desperately trying to get them finished when I could be with my family. The IEPs, the meetings (oh, those meetings), the lesson plans- yes, those will not go away. But when I focus on those elements of my job I get lost in a horrid sinking depression of teaching. When I think about those aspects I start to agree with all those Facebook articles going around about "Don't let your kids grow up to be teachers" and the "I was a teacher and quit and now my life is so much better" blog posts. When I'm focused on the paperwork and the adult aspects of my job I get angry at the world. I resent my job instead of embracing it. And that's not OK.

Because in truth, I have one of the best jobs there is. Teaching children with special needs- helping them overcome obstacles, navigate social situations, and teaching them that trying their hardest even when they think they can't do something is something I am blessed to be able to do. I am lucky that in college I felt called into the classroom instead of going to law school or pursuing another job that would leave me in an office dealing with grown ups all day.

There are days when it's hard to remember that. When I barely see the kids and spend far more time in meetings than teaching. When fighting for what is right for kids seems harder than it should be, or when the paperwork of the job seems to suffocate everything else. But for 2014 I cannot let myself focus on those elements. Being depressed or frustrated at the job will not make me a better teacher. It will not help my students learn. It will not give me the patience I need to see a student with clarity and empathy so I can determine the best way to help them.

So for 2014 I will focus on what I am exciting about teaching every day. One thing a day that makes me excited to go to work. It may be small, like simply being happy to do a read aloud with a class, or to check on a student I'm worried about- or maybe it is big, like learning how to introduce division to third graders. And every time I get frustrated and angry at the teaching profession, the adults who seem to put up road blocks, the paperwork and the reports I will remember why I am there everyday. I plan to post these every morning on the Facebook page to hold myself accountable for these positive thoughts (don't worry, I'm only teaching until March when the new baby comes so it won't clog your Facebook feed that much!)

For the next few days of break I will be getting my paperwork ready to go so that we can hit the ground running on January 6, 2014. But all the while I am going to try to keep my focus on the real reason I'll go into work that day- the kids.

Spoiled Books?

A few weeks ago I excitedly took Little Lipstick to the library and slid the Elephant and Piggie books off the shelf. I couldn't wait to dive into them with her. How many times have I read them to a giggling kindergarten class? How many children have I read them to who ended up clutching them to their bodies as though they were cuddling their favorite teddy bear? I couldn't wait to share that same love of a book with my own little one.

We checked the books out, brought them home and cuddled together on the floor to read. I broke out my very best piggy and elephant voices. I did the theatrics. I was animated and over the top just like I usually am when I read aloud in the classroom.

Apparently that is too much for a two year old, or at least for my two year old.

Perhaps I was too animated. Too over the top. Maybe I was a bit too dramatic as I sighed a dramatic elephant sigh to show his worry over Piggie. Maybe it was too unsettling to see her normally calm mommy being so dramatic. Maybe I am a horrible actress. Whatever it was, I ruined Elephant and Piggie for my own daughter.

I want you to read that again but with the mental image of Gerald, the Elephant sighing and then exploding with worry.

I RUINED ELEPHANT AND PIGGIE FOR MY DAUGHTER.

She won't let me read the books anymore. "No Mama" she says, pushing the book away every time I try.

How can I call myself a teacher? A lover of children's literature?

What if the same thing happens when it is time to read Harry Potter?  What if *gasp* she doesn't share the same love of certain books with me? 

*fall into dramatic heap*

"He said WHAT?" Third grade reactions to The Paper Bag Princess

Today I had the privilege of reading Robert Munch's The Paper Bag Princess to a small group of third graders. I've ready it for years to first graders and kindergartners, and for the past year have been reading it to my daughter. I've never read it to older students before, especially not ones who were hearing it for the first time. Since I have the book memorized (not an exageration, I have recited it on car trips to a very fussy toddler) I wasn't really even thinking much about it. I'd chosen it so we could talk about how the main character is strong and stands up for herself. (This is a social skills lunch group). I wasn't prepared for the deeper level thinking that third graders would bring to the text, or their response to a fairy tale like story that didn't fit in with their schema.

If you've never read it before* it is about a princess who is set to marry a prince. However, a dragon interferes with these plans when he burns down her castle and carries off the prince.

Right here the third graders gasped. This is NOT what was suppose to happen they pointed out. The dragon was suppose to take the princess. In fact, when we spent time predicting what would happen before we even started reading that was exactly what they predicted- the dragon would take the princess, the prince would rescue her by physically fighting the dragon, and then the prince and princess would get married. Just like every other fairy tale.

Maybe, one boy pointed out, the dragon was so tired of kidnapping princesses and then having the prince come along and fight him that he figured if he stole a prince the princess wouldn't be able to fight back. In all the years I've taught this book I've never once thought about the dragon's motivation. Maybe I am starting to warm up to third grade.

We got past that first shock and read on, finding that Elizabeth (the princess) had to outwit the dragon instead of fighting him. Their eyes shown as they listened to what she did and they made their own plans on how they would trick the dragon. One boy made a long list of all the ways a dragon could hurt him and then all the ways he could neutralize those threats (my words, not his).

Then of course, we came to the climax. Elizabeth tricks the dragon, rescues Prince Ronald and then, *spoiler alert* Prince Ronald takes one look at her, lists all the things that are wrong with her (she is dirty, she smells, she is wearing a paper bag) and tells her to come back when she looks like a real princess.

Silence.

"I don't understand" one girl said. "That's not what is supposed to happen. She RESCUED him." The girls sat and stared at me like I'd read the words on the page incorrectly. "Why doesn't he get it?"

They were all horrified by his lack of respect for the princess who just rescued him, but they were all surprised when we turned the page and Elizabeth and Ronald don't get married after all.

"Other stories end with a happy ending" one girl said, looking perplexed. That of course opened the door to discussing what a happy ending really is (well, it was happy for Elizabeth, but not Ronald one third grader pointed out).

It was definitely the most thought provoking discussions I've ever had about the book, but also the most enlightening lesson (for me). I've always read it to children who are young enough to naturally accept the story. Reading it to third graders who have a strong schema of what a story should look like changed the dynamics of the lesson completely. It no longer was about Elizabeth, but instead about what we expect from stories and why they are all the same. Why do all the stories end with happy endings, with the princess getting married and the prince rescuing her? It was fascinating to watch the group of students struggle with understanding an amusing and entertaining simple text simply because it challenged their own schema of how stories work.

*You should immediately run to the library and check it out. Or buy it on Kindle. It's available there too

I swear, I'm still here!

Whew, it's been awhile. This year more than any other year in my teaching career I've been struggling with keeping a healthy work/life balance. I'm finding it hard to do anything that isn't work or taking care of my toddler (don't ask the last time I got my hair cut) which means I've also been having trouble finding time to blog. But I'm a happier, more reflective teacher when I blog so I need to start making it more of a priority again.

Since we left off we've returned from school after Thanksgiving break only to have two long, glorious snow days (in which I ended up being FAR more tired than I would have been if I'd worked. Keeping up with a toddler is rough, especially pregnant!)  We have one week left (3 days now) until Winter Break and I think we are all counting the hours. The kids have been off, everyone's stress level is up, and we're all about to implode. Every year it always seems that break comes right when we think we can't take it anymore.

I have lots to say about it all and hopefully I'll find the time to say it!