When I think about going back to the kids I'm excited. I want to know how their breaks were. I'm looking forward to teaching them, listening to their third grade reasoning, leading discussions in reading group, and hosting lunch bunches. I miss the kids over break- I miss their random jokes, their smiles and watching them grasp an academic concept that was difficult for them. The most important part of my job- the reason I do this job- I miss that.
Because in truth, I have one of the best jobs there is. Teaching children with special needs- helping them overcome obstacles, navigate social situations, and teaching them that trying their hardest even when they think they can't do something is something I am blessed to be able to do. I am lucky that in college I felt called into the classroom instead of going to law school or pursuing another job that would leave me in an office dealing with grown ups all day.
There are days when it's hard to remember that. When I barely see the kids and spend far more time in meetings than teaching. When fighting for what is right for kids seems harder than it should be, or when the paperwork of the job seems to suffocate everything else. But for 2014 I cannot let myself focus on those elements. Being depressed or frustrated at the job will not make me a better teacher. It will not help my students learn. It will not give me the patience I need to see a student with clarity and empathy so I can determine the best way to help them.
So for 2014 I will focus on what I am exciting about teaching every day. One thing a day that makes me excited to go to work. It may be small, like simply being happy to do a read aloud with a class, or to check on a student I'm worried about- or maybe it is big, like learning how to introduce division to third graders. And every time I get frustrated and angry at the teaching profession, the adults who seem to put up road blocks, the paperwork and the reports I will remember why I am there everyday. I plan to post these every morning on the Facebook page to hold myself accountable for these positive thoughts (don't worry, I'm only teaching until March when the new baby comes so it won't clog your Facebook feed that much!)
For the next few days of break I will be getting my paperwork ready to go so that we can hit the ground running on January 6, 2014. But all the while I am going to try to keep my focus on the real reason I'll go into work that day- the kids.
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