power of knowledge, value, and control

During my Friday morning book club one of my fifth grade kiddos noticed the packet of papers on my desk for my PhD applications.

"Did you get a scholarship?" she asked as she eyed my stack of daunting paperwork.

"Um, no... I'm applying for one. Why do you want to know about a scholarship?" I replied, confused at why on earth she was thinking about scholarships in 5th grade.

"'Cause we just got our report cards and I got good grades! So I told my mom I am going to go to college."

"Way to go!"

"yeah, but she said I have to get a scholarship 'cause college is expensive. So now I have to make sure I can get a scholarship. If you get one will you give it to me?"

I was floored by the fact that my friend was even thinking about college, and that the mention of the word scholarship sent her into a determined frenzy. This is a child who went on to tell me that on the same report card she also received an N in self-control...

I tried to take time to explain about the whole merit-based scholarship and that I just can't hand over my own scholarship (because, honestly, if I could I don't think I would anyway- I need that money!)

It's that kind of determination that will get our children farther. Not just the drive to succeed but the knowledge that they have that kind of control over their future. They don't have to be passive as though pass through school, but instead they play an important role in their own lives.

In The Elegance of a Hedgehog (and I think I may be the only person I know who loved that book) the main character, the building concierge for a French apartment building, describes school as a second birth, which taught her that she herself was a person- a soul with a name and importance. I love that scene- that coming from a poor family she suddenly understood her worth once she started school. We have the power to give that realization to our children.

I recently read Push, the novel Precious is based on, and I can't get it out of my head. It comes down to the same idea- that once a child is aware of her own importance and value she is able to take control of her own life and play a role in her future.

I think that idea sums up why I teach- to give children that power in their own lives- to help them realize that they are someone valued, someone of importance. Help them to understand that they are important enough to work hard- that they are in control of their future.

hearing thank you

This afternoon my partner in crime and I stayed after school to watch the kids in after-school-care put on a play. One of our former students invited us to the performance weeks ago. She'd started talking about the play in August, and comes to see us every morning and every afternoon to chat about the play. And so, even though it was held 45 minutes after our contract hours were up, and even though she didn't have a speaking role, we knew we had to stay to cheer her on.

This year, as a big first grader she stops in frequently to fill us in on all the aspects in her life. She's currently having a rough go of it in school and so we've been encouraging her to check in with us and let us know how she's doing with her behavior chart every day and tell us about the good choices she's making. It's one of those things that takes 2 minutes every morning and afternoon- not a conscious decision that we decided to make- her stopping in and "chatting" just happened naturally, and if it works for her, then why stop it?

This afternoon her mother found us after the performance, and, waiting until she had both of us- me and my partner-in-crime, told us she just wanted to thank us for spending the extra time with her daughter. She said she knew it wasn't our responsibility but that she really appreciated the time and concern we gave her little one.

It's funny- I never expect to hear thank you in this job. I don't think many people become a teacher to be appreciated. It seems so rare to hear a genuine thank you from parents. We stared at her, shocked, not knowing what to do with her words- we stuttered, declared how much we love her daughter and how 'of course! it's nothing'.

And so, even after a painful day full of co-worker drama I left work on a high note, looking forward to the next day. Those two meaningful words will get me through what's left of this crazy week.

i thought i worked with kids...

For the last 5 years I've had a book club on Friday mornings for my former students. Some years we've read chapter books, other years we've done author studies, read great children's books, written and illustrated stories together, or simply used the time to chat about books. Nothing is more divine that spending a few moments with my former students, listening to them chat about how their lives are going, what they're learning, and how they're doing in school. It's such a great reminder of how much children grow and change- eventually they do learn to stop picking their noses. Or at least, they learn to not do it in public.

It's also good for them. I'm a firm believer in the fact that children are the most successful in school if they feel the school is invested in them. This happens when adults in the building, not just their current teachers, but other adults, greet them by name, ask them how they are doing, and take genuine interest in who they are. So my book club lets my former students have a chance to catch up. They may no longer need me- they may feel confident on their own, but if they feel like hanging out with their former teacher, if they need a reminder that they are important, they can come hang out on Friday mornings.

Except that this year we've met 3 times.

3 times.

We're suppose to be reading Because of Winn Dixie. But the book is sitting behind my desk with the bookmark in the same place week after week.

Meetings.

Meetings, meeting, meetings keep getting scheduled during my book club slot.

But it's not just Friday mornings. My calendar is full of meetings. Meetings that give me more paperwork to do when I'm not in the meetings. If my desk wasn't in a kindergarten classroom I'm not sure I'd know I worked with kids.

I miss them. I miss the runny noses. I miss the untied shoes. I miss read alouds. Teaching lessons. Listening to beginning readers. Singing silly songs. I'm ready to work with children again.

Tomorrow is a teacher workday. Maybe, if I get all of my paperwork done, maybe I can teach the children on Wednesday. Fingers crossed.

character day

today during my friday morning book club i showed my club the book 'duck for president' and told them this is who i wanted to be today. then i gave them construction paper and markers and asked them to help me with my costume.

note the fabulous: 'f. brown: 6, duck, 20' vote counts.

the tissue box is because one girl made me a ballot box. i believe she may have taken the tissues out of it and stuffed them into another box, but i can't prove it.

this little one made a list of my campaign promises if i was duck. i love that her first thought was 'lower gas prices' and her next one was 'anyone can vote'. i think she was referring to the fact her parents can't vote, but it could be that she would like voting rights as a 3rd grader.

i was rather pleased with my throw-together costume but at the end of the day one of my lunch-bunch kiddos from last year walked by and said, "you know, most people will vote for charlie brown"

the nerve.