My last post was a bit negative.
OK, more than a bit. Writing it made me feel like maybe I should walk in and quit my job today because the situation is hopeless.
The thing is- although I am working harder this year than I have in ten years of teaching- although I feel like the system is actively against my program- although I feel like a bad mother AND a bad teacher- I do love my job.
I adore teaching these kids. I love reading books with them. I love their smiles when they come in every morning. I love when one got off the bus and said, "Good Morning Mrs. Lipstick!" for the first time ever. I love when I hear them speak spontaneously after going for so long being prompted to speak.
I love the small successes. When one shakes another child's hand spontaneously for the first time. When one recognizes the word 'we' in a book. When one of my kids writes her name all over her desk because 9 weeks ago she couldn't even write the first letter in her name.
I love the challenges. I love wondering how on earth I'm going to get them to learn to write their names. I love being frustrated with their behavior and looking for ways to make it better. I love looking at what's not working and trying to figure out other ways to teach it.
I'm not sure it's a good job for me as a mother. It involves so much of me that I don't have time to give. But I do know that I love it. I love the kids, I love the challenge, and I love how much I've learned in only 9 weeks.