Friday, November 16, 2007

i thought i could handle it

i'm taking 2 grad classes this semester while i'm starting my new position as a special ed teacher. i got married last march so i'm still in the first year of my marriage and we're house-hunting and all the fun stuff that comes along with that.

i really thought i was doing great. i thought i had it under control. at first i thought it wasn't that much responsibility. then when i decided it was, i kept thinking wow, i'm dealing with this all really well.

this saturday i have three fairly large projects due for one class, along with the 6 chapters of reading we need to do to complete one of the projects. that's for tomorrow. i've read 4 chapters, have drafts of all 3 projects, and was hoping to have a nice quiet friday evening with my husband after a long crazy week. (ok, really i'd like to go to happy hour and then go out on the town with my husband). i'm starting to realize tonight is going to be an all-nighter.

i forgot about my book club this week. stood them up. completely. forgot to write back to emails. yesterday i pulled a kiddo to read with him one on one. when i got back to the classroom i realized i was suppose to teach the lesson that day and now the teachers and kiddos were waiting on me. sometimes i forget to call my family. sometimes i forget to write back to my husbands emails during the day. i've lost touch with some of my good friends.

i need to learn to prioritize. in undergrad i was use to putting 100% effort into my work. now i'm still trying to do that, but 100% effort into grad school isn't necessary anymore. 100% effort into my marriage, my friends, my real job, my life... yes, those are things i need to prioritize. passing grad school is what matters, not getting straight a's.

that just feels so wrong.
then again, so does standing up my book club, being grouchy in the evenings, and forgetting to teach a focus lesson to a group of first graders.

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