Sunday, April 25, 2010

real teaching resumes

Since I'm still terrified about having such a significant amount of time off for the first time this summer I've been sending my resume out to difference places in hopes of lining up some sort of stimulating summer work. As I worked on updating my resume yesterday I couldn't help but think that my actual resume doesn't say anything about what's really important in the classroom. There is no place for those hidden-teacher-talents.

So, here's mine:
  • Can identify lice on a child's head with impeccable accuracy, both the eggs and the bugs themselves.
  • Can go for 8 hours without using the bathroom
  • Have Knuffle Bunny, Noisy Nora, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, and The Recess Queen memorized.
  • Can perform The Tooty-Tah and Alphady without needing Dr. Jean's CDs.
  • Able to make a parent feel like their child is the most important child in the world.
  • Can fill five-ten minutes of unplanned wait-time at a moment's notice when there are 20 children staring at me, wanting to be entertained.
  • Can identify between a child who really needs to use the bathroom and one who wants me to think they really need to go to the bathroom.
  • Willing to rescue children who managed to climb too high on the playground and cannot get themselves down.
  • Sing "Going on a Bear Hunt" whenever walking through the woods with a class.
  • Able to make any child feel like what they are telling me is the most important thing I have ever heard in my whole life, even when they are just telling me that they went to Chuck-E-Cheese (again) over the weekend.
  • Possess Gumby-like flexibility skills that allow me to organize meetings and plan class activities at a moment's notice.
  • Able to read most kindergarten and first grade developmentally appropriate spelling, even if the child has a learning disability that impacts their ability to hear sounds in words.
  • Able to write paragraphs of strengths on any child in any subject matter, no matter what the child's abilities are. (Try me)
  • Strong knowledge of children's literature, which allows me to pull books out of the air when the class needs to have a class meeting on bullying, making friends, the loss of a class pet, understanding that we are all different, etc, etc.
  • Actively seek advice from anyone and everyone.
  • Able to sports-cast an all-classroom clean up as though it is an Olympic event.
  • Able to channel Viola Swamp at a moment's notice, and then can immediately switch back to being Miss Nelson.
What are your secret teacher talents? I'm memeing you:

Let us know your hidden talents, and meme 5 other talented teachers.


The Science Goddess said...

I love these!

It reminds me of a district task we had a few years ago when we closed two schools and many teachers had to change grade levels. We asked experts at those grades to tell us everything teachers should know about that grade (but no one would ever tell you). Lots of great ideas. My favourite came from the first grade group: "They poke you. They poke you. They poke you."

I'm thinking that a list from a secondary teacher would resemble yours in some ways---just adjusted a bit for age. I know I certainly accumulated a lot of skills no one ever warned me I would need. :)

Sneaker Teacher said...

Great list! Really funny. Thanks for passing it to me. I will do this as my post tomorrow!


Anonymous said...

This was funny -- and fun to do. Thanks for including me!

luckeyfrog said...

If I were an administrator, something like these (at least the tamest of ones) would really catch my eye in a cover letter or a more informal resume brochure (which I was told you can give in addition to the professional one).

I feel like someone who put those in their cover letter is someone I'd want to interview. Maybe at least hang onto them for the end of the summer if you're looking desperate. :)