Wednesday, February 19, 2014

How'd the baby get in there, anyway?

In exactly two weeks I will be starting my maternity leave. By this you can infer that I am currently very large.  And tired and uncomfortable. But mostly just large.

This largeness does not go unnoticed by the students I work with.

Although the comments, particularly from children with autism have been going on all year, but now that I seem to be expanding daily, AND the students know that I'll be leaving soon the comments, concerns and questions are amplifying.
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"Why do you keep your baby in your belly?"  (From a third grader with autism)
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Another third grader:  So how do you get the baby out?
Me: I'll go to the doctor and they'll deliver the baby.
Him: How do they deliver it? They put it in a box and mail it to the hospital and give it to you like delivering a package?
Me:  That word deliver makes it sound like that huh? Let's get back to work...
~~  ~~
I went to pick up a kindergarten student today for reading group. This was only the second time he was in my group and I guess the first time he didn't notice my large belly. His class was working quietly at reading workshop and I was trying my best to get him and his reading group out of the classroom without disruption. Yet the poor boy couldn't take his eyes off my belly. "Why is your belly so big?" he asked me loudly. When I gave him the quiet signal and pointed toward the door to indicate that he should line up he turned to his friends."Why is her tummy so large? Is her belly big? What's wrong with it?"
I can only imagine the horror he was going through trying to figure out why a teacher would walk around with such a large belly.

At the end of reading group, his eyes still glued to my stomach he asked, "Why did you want to put a baby in your belly?"

~~  ~~
"Mrs. Lipstick, when you're baby comes can I be your respite care baby sitter?"
I'm totally touched that this third grade boy would offer, and I do love that he called it respite care. But no. Not going to be the baby sitter.

~~  ~~
I'm starting to think that teachers should be granted maternity leave months before the baby is born so we don't have to handle these awkward social questions.


Karen said...

I'm a pregnant 8th grade teacher, and oh man, let me tell you that the questions get even more awkward once they know how babies get in and out!

"If I tazed you, would all your muscles start contracting and shoot the baby out automatically? 'Cause that would be NEAT"

"If a man gets pregnant, where does the baby come out?"

"Do you have horrible back pain that makes you not want to get out of bed yet? No? Oh don't worry, you will soon!"

6 more weeks to go on my end! Hang in there!

Snippety Gibbet said...

Hahahahaha! Congrats, OC. I miss seeing you around. jan

organized chaos said...

Karen- I've been giggling about your "If I tazed you comment" for days. I am so thankful I don't work in middle school right now!!

Hope you are feeling well enough to keep up with all those 8th graders!