Mr. Lipstick and I took our last no-baby trip last week because we are expecting a new addition to our family in September. We're thrilled, excited, and nervous all at once. But mostly, we're just really excited.
The early stages of being pregnant at school were quite the new experience. My sudden new hyper-aware-smelling super-power really became quite the tool in detecting misbehavior (or potential misbehavior). I smelled those five year old farts before any of typical fart-gigglers and was able to distract/move them away from the farter before it became a class distraction. Of course, sadly, I was moving myself away from the gas-passer as well because suddenly it was the most overpower smell in the room.
One afternoon a little girl slipped passed me with an overpowering scent of the perfume counter at Macy's- as though she'd drenched herself in five different types. Trying not to gag I pulled her aside and gave her a lecture on 1) slipping to her book bag mid-class and 2) putting on perfume. Turns out she'd just used scented hand-sanitizer. While she still shouldn't have gone to the book bag mid class, somehow using hand sanitizer because a friend had sneezed on her seemed less offensive. And yes, when shown the bottle it claimed to be a lightly scented strawberry antibacterial hand sanitizer.
And then there is kindergarten snack. Since I co-teach in 3 different classes that all have snack at different times of the day, there are days I have the potential for experiencing 3 different snack times in one day. In some classes I use snack as an opportunity to work with kids. I do reading groups, work on social language, or do letter ID games while the kids snack away. This ended in January. Suddenly I was finding excuses to be as far from snack as I could. "Oh, I'm just going to check on this paperwork" I found myself saying. Choosing paperwork over seeing kids? Something was clearly out of place. But that mixed smell of bananas, fruit cups, baloney sandwiches, and Korean-brand cookies was too much. I knew something was wrong when I watched one boy's baloney slip out of his sandwich and land on the floor. He bent over and picked it up, opened his sandwich back and replaced the baloney. Ick. You have no idea what that baloney had stuck to it once it had a moment to soak up all the goodness that is hidden under a table in a kindergarten room. I watched in horror, and yet contemplated what to do. If I got near him to correct him I'd have to smell the baloney. And his friend's banana. I wasn't sure that could happen. But do I let him eat the dirt/germ/crayon-pieces covered baloney? Finally I decided to get my partner-in-crime who was able to pry the baloney from his hands while I dashed out of the classroom.
Luckily most of this winter I've had a cold and so my smelling super powers have been thwarted. It's the days I wake up with a clear nose that I know I am in trouble...