Dear upstairs copier,
I want to apologize for my frustrated outburst this afternoon. It was not fair when I said those words under my breath. You copy papers very, very quickly. You do not get jammed very frequently. I am glad to have you.
But you have to understand, when you beep loudly to tell me to add more paper, I don't like it. In fact, when I'm already tense, it makes things a lot worse. I KNOW I need to add more paper. You have a flashy light that tells me so. I was GETTING the paper. But I had to find it in the workroom. Then I had to unwrap it and load it into the machine. I was working on it. But the entire time you kept beeping. Beep. Beep. Beep. Did you think I would leave you? Just walk off, saying, "You know what, I didn't want those copies anyway?" What if I had to get the paper from downstairs? Were you going to beep the entire time? Or if we ran out of paper completely? Would you have beeped until I pulled the plug?
I spend all day with five year olds poking me, reminding me they are there, wanting my help. I can be patient with them. But from you copy machine, I expect more. Our relationship is different than that. It may not be fair, but it is true.
Have you ever seen the fax machine scene from Office Space?
Think about it.